October 15, 2019

ROVINE | The Democratic Candidates As The Zodiac

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Given there are exactly 12 candidates vying for the Democratic nomination at tonight’s debate, I figured I had to highlight them all as represented by the 12 Zodiac signs. (Admittedly, I know way more about astrology than I do about politics- don’t come after me!) 

 

Elizabeth Warren: Aries

Known to “swat and jab at the air” in interviews, Warren can seem a bit Aries Aggressive indeed. But maybe that’s because she uses her boundless energy to unapologetically fight for what she believes in. Go off, Lizzy! Love that passionate fire.

Beto O’Rourke: Taurus

Perpetually stoned. Chill af. Doesn’t really know what he’s doing or why he’s here, but thrilled to come along for the ride! 

Cory Booker: Gemini

Notable for “selfless acts of heroism” like rescuing a neighbor from a house fire or chasing down a suspected bank robber, Booker is determined to be the nice guy. But mysterious “misconstrued” stories and an airy political profile render him difficult to read and seemingly… dare I say… two faced. (Sorry to hit you with the stereotype, Gemini. I just had to.) Not to mention the way he blames “the media” for twisting things, much like another Gemini we all know…

Pete Buttigieg: Cancer 

Soft spoken, kind-hearted, empathetic, and lovable. Has been called the Mr. Rogers of our generation with his way of instantly making those around him feel comfortable. Cancer!

Kamala Harris: Leo

Jokes about smoking weed but would probably arrest you for it for fun! Known for her bubbly personality, confident stage presence, passionate nature, and big heart. In true Leo fashion. Kamala can effortlessly captivate any audience with a funny joke or a powerful, heartwarming story. Big Leo Energy!

 

Tom Steyer: Virgo

Incredibly hardworking, wildly successful billionaire with a commitment to philanthropy and a particular focus on environmentalism? VIRGO!

Julian Castro: Libra

Has a strong desire to make himself known but is unsure and indecisive on exactly how. Like any true Libra, he’ll figure it out and shine bright in the end! Also skilled at weighing those Scales of Justice to draw conclusions and support what he believes is right.

Amy Klobuchar: Scorpio

Notoriously cold and mean with a lot going on under the surface, Klobuchar represents the most stigmatized sign. I’m sorry, Scorpios- I know some of you are the most kind-hearted of us all, on the inside at least…

Joe Biden: Sagittarius 

Though this go around has brought out the worst in  Biden and his reputation (wasn’t everyone gushing at pics of him and Obama eating ice cream together two minutes ago?), his sunny and optimistic disposition gives him major Sag vibes. Plus, with lots of “Vice President Adderall” impulsive gaffes lately, Biden could definitely benefit from cooling his fire and taking a chill pill- how about a Xanax instead?

Andrew Yang: Capricorn

Money loving former tech executive. Need I say more? 

Bernie Sanders: Aquarius

Social. Justice. Warrior. Would literally – and very well might – fall over and die for the people, the planet, and the mass destruction of corporate profit. Aquarius. Please take care of yourself, Bernie! Put yourself first sometimes- you deserve it.

Tulsi Gabbard: Pisces

A Hawaiian war veteran turned keep-the-peace karma yogi and devoted vegan, Gabbard is Pisces vibes.