April 9, 2019

Ask Anj | Freshman Friendships

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Q: So it’s going to be the end of the semester soon, and I have a problem: I’m a freshman, and I feel like I don’t have strong, sustainable friendships. My roommates are nice, but I don’t see us hanging out much after this year, and I’ve got some platonic friends from my FWS, but once that’s over, I have no idea if we’ll still talk to each other. Everyone around me seems to have at least one best friend already, and some have a “family” who they eat dinner with regularly. Am I not putting myself out there enough? Should I wait for solid friendships to come my way, or is it something I should actively seek?


A: Hey @lonelygirl102! Thanks for your question. Look, I’ve been there. Actually, I was literally just there not too long ago. It’s especially hard at the very beginning of college to find your “squad.” You may meet people (as I did) who don’t have your best interests at heart. You may meet people (as many do) that just aren’t your vibe. However, there is a place for you at Cornell. Everyone agrees that finding your “person(s)” at this school, although seemingly difficult at first, is inevitable and very much worth it. You’ve just got to hold out for them. If there’s one thing I know for sure, it’s this: You shouldn’t rush college friendships. The people you meet in college could very well be your best friends for life. These BFF’s may not be the first people you meet here. Heck, they may not even be the second. But these BFFs will be the ones you roll up to graduation with, arm-in-arm, ready to take on the world. They’ll be the ones you study with at Olin until 2 am, the ones you explore the gorges and lakes with when it gets nice out, the ones you form stupid inside jokes with, and the ones who will be there for you through all the ups and downs of college life (because let’s be real, there are plenty of both). But the harsh truth (and probably not what you want to hear) is that there’s no real timeline for when you should meet your best friends. It took me a long period of time where I felt completely alone at this school before the universe gifted me mine. Looking back, I’m grateful for my “mean girl” experience, because it brought me closer to the nice girls who are my best friends today. You have to trust me when I say that you will find the Cristina to your Meredith.


You will find your person.


Sending love and friendship thoughts your way,