Engineering = Warheads
For some reason, Mech-E’s and Chem-E’s think they’re at war with every other major at Cornell, and won’t go more than two minutes without reminding you that they’re engineers and that your major is inferior. They treat every project or interview like it’s a life-or-death situation and you think they might explode at any given moment. They’re also incredibly sour about everything, to the point where it’s not even worth asking them how their day went. Also, doesn’t that logo just look like an engineer?
Applied Economics and Management = Gummy Worms
People always call AEM majors snakes and this is the closest thing we could think of to snakes. I don’t really know why AEM majors are called snakes, because all the ones I’ve met are so amiable. I’d even say something nice about them here if I hadn’t already internalized the sad truth that they’re going to make more money than me after graduating despite doing half as much work in college.
Computer Science = Nerds
Two days ago, a TA in one of my CS electives said something along the lines of “the proof that a standard non-deterministic Turing machine gives you more computability than a linear-bounded non-deterministic Turing machine is quite fascinating and you should check it out in your own time,” and I, someone who occasionally writes out basketball statistics in binary for fun, was like:
Architecture = Dum Dums’ Mystery Flavor Lollipop
I don’t really know what architecture students do and, let’s be honest, you don’t know either. Not only is what they do in that awesome building of theirs mysterious, but the people themselves are mysterious. I had an architecture student in my suite as a freshman and I probably got like five Nasties calzones per each time that I physically saw him throughout the year.
Industrial and Labor Relations = Take 5
Based on my limited sample size, it seems that ILR students have plenty of time to take breaks from studying. I know two people in ILR; one of them is literally working a near full-time job this semester while taking classes and the other once spent an unspeakable number of hours playing Grand Theft Auto his sophomore year. They’re two of the smartest, most hard-working people I know… it just never seems like they’re working.
Hotel Administration = Ferrero Rocher
Ferrero Rocher isn’t really a Halloween candy, but it is rich, nicely-dressed, overly concerned about presentation, and a little extra. Sound at all like your hotelie friend?
Astronomy = Milky Way
This one doesn’t really need an explanation. Actually, while we’re at it, let’s rip off a few more obvious ones.
Agriculture = Candy Corn
Pre-Med = Life Savers
Applied Engineering and Physics = Smarties
Animal Science = Milk Duds
Philosophy = Airheads
What if the very idea of candy is just in our heads?
Cornell University = Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
A box of jelly beans is the perfect representation of our diverse student body that features people of all races from more than 100 countries who study every subject imaginable… well, if half of the jelly beans in that box were Vanilla.
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