A Few Netflix Recommendations to Restore Lost Intelligence Before the Semester Begins

by Katriana Galloway

You’re rotting. Your brain is shriveling, and your body is shrimping. I hate to say it, but you can’t claim your all-virtual internship is keeping you on your game when you’ve dropped to the behavioral capacity of a house cat; you’re periodically inspired to nibble at your dwindling snack stash, but otherwise you slink and slither miserably around the house without a single objective, leaving your hair everywhere and arguably serving little to no purpose in general. No amount of the profound self-introspection you congratulate yourself for carrying out in these lonesome times, or of the James Baldwin quotes and politically charged articles you’ve added to your Instagram story, can reverse the truth of you having begun to regularly converse with your bedside lamp, roughly your intellectual equal these days. We’ve gone months now without that constant whirl of stimulation that was many of our worlds pre-COVID, and, no matter how many squats you do a day or how many new drugs you try, the conjoined forces of time and mandated self-quarantine are dimming us all. 

No doubt, you’ve been Netflixing heavily.

A Short Guide to Educational Creative Works Concerning Black Lives Matter and Anti-Racism

Compiled and written by Livia Caligor

 As Toni Morrison shared with The Guardian in 1992, “In this country American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate.” In a riveting dialogue on the implications of the African-American identity, she begs her readers to question what it means to be hyphenated, how it feels to be considered American by law but a second-class category of citizens by practice. What does this exactly mean for people of color in this country, especially Black and indigenous people of color? To be an African-American, an Asian-American, a Latinx-American person in this country denotes something very different from being just an American. All of us “Americans” were born or naturalized in the United States, yet non-white individuals are still considered to be half an American, their rights compromised and exploited for the benefit of white communities.

CORNELLA | What Your Favorite TV Shows Would Look Like Today

Stars: They’re just like us! There’s something comforting in knowing that I’m not the only one who has to stay home and at a six feet distance. Just knowing that everyone else is having to do the same exact thing makes the situation more bearable — and I mean everyone. Now if I ever run into Justin Bieber or Beyoncé we will actually have something in common that I can use as a conversation starter. That definitely makes weeks long of quarantine worth it.

Veritas Forum Announces 2020 #My2020CommencementSpeech Contest

by Zachary Lee 

With commencements and graduations nationwide either being cancelled or going virtual, the Veritas Forum is ensuring that before the year ends, members of the Class of 2020 still get to share their stories. The organization, which places historic Christian faith in dialogue with other beliefs and invites participants from all backgrounds to pursue Truth together, has partnered with The Augustine Collective and Comment Magazine to launch the #My2020CommencementSpeech Contest, which will publish five commencement speeches written by graduating seniors. All graduating seniors are invited to participate. In May, Comment will publish the winning speeches online, and Veritas will publish videos of the authors delivering those speeches on its social channels. Additionally, the five winners will each receive $200 Amazon gift cards.

ROVINE | 161 Things to Do Under Quarantine

Unless you’ve been living under a rock (in which case, don’t move), you know the importance of self-isolating to protect yourself and others during the coronavirus pandemic. We might be stuck at home, but we need not succumb to boredom. It’s time to devour pop culture, learn new recipes or even invent the next Instagram or Airbnb. Unprecedented circumstances call for innovation and revolution. 

And with that, I present: 161 (CLXI) Things to Do in Self-Isolation, aka my senior thesis. On behalf of Cornell University, I’ve decided that this will be the capstone of my undergraduate career.

GALLOWAY | Corona Season: Exposing Cornell’s Simpler-Minded

Hardly a couple weeks ago, while still a student in the traditional sense, I observed the bespeckling of our once-tangible institution by a scattered but substantial population of a particular type of student. For the sake of your efficient recollection, I’ll attempt to compile them all into a cast of two characters (they aren’t a terribly varied crowd). 

Paying absolutely no attention in an econ discussion section is student number one, daydreaming about enlisting in the active troops of America’s dumbest youth currently deployed on Miami beaches. With the full intention of turning these fantasies into realities, as well as the financial comfort necessary to do so, they envision themselves joining the battalions of idiots devoting their spring breaks to pillaging Florida suburbs filled with senior citizens and major airports filled with travelers from the world’s every corner. 

Student number two is a Human Biology, Health and Society junior possessing the simplicity of a freshman and a propensity for hypocrisy like no other. They’re an all too common Cornellian, perusing Expedia sites in their Nutrition and Global Health lecture, feigning excitement over a now cheaper Cancún trip with their friends they know damn well Daddy could and would have paid for at a pre-Corona price. This is a student whose life is utterly untouched by the novel virus, who believes themselves immune despite having undergone thousands of dollars worth of “global health” courses, who has been a rather dedicated attendee of recent Catherine Street darties (daytime parties), who self-identifies as a pre-med “because they have a passion for helping others” and who seemingly cares not about the lives they put at risk with every mask-free breath they breathe beyond the boundaries of their campus and their parents’ home. 

We are in the midst of a worldwide catastrophe threatening human existence itself, an advancing epidemic with enough vigor to have proven itself unstoppable by even the countless forms of privilege that have long shielded some of Westchester’s finest streets from most other earthly issues.

CORNELLA | Attention Lazy People

[Content warning: this article contains discussion of body image. Reader discretion is advised] 

I was shocked when I got home and realized I had gained 15 pounds. First off, of course no teenage girl will be too thrilled about this. But what really shook me was how it even happened. Sure I snacked a lot and barely went to the gym, but none of that was new.


GALLOWAY | Golden Goose Shoes: We Get it, You’re Rich

Don’t have a Goodwill near you? Can’t afford to independently wear down some white sneakers via walking in them, as one does? Been longing for goose-themed shoes to pair with your unethically manufactured goose-feather jacket? May I present to you the Golden Goose Superstar sneakers. 

Stroking your classically Cornellian fetish for advertising your parents’ New English wealth, while also saving you the time and energy your freshman School of Hotel Administration schedule simply cannot accommodate to break into a new pair of white Vans, having your very own GG pair will grant your feet that special sensation of chafing against five-hundred-dollar leather that has been individually hand-scratched and artistically ravaged in a Venetian warehouse. An undoubtedly worthwhile investment, one pair of GGs is all you’ll ever need to satisfy your inexplicable desire for a chestnut brown blemish thoughtfully placed on your rightmost toe by a nice Italian man.

CORNELLA | You Don’t Seriously Watch The Bachelor, Right?

Anyone who publicly professes their love for the hit series The Bachelor is bound to be immediately met with rolling eyes, judgmental smirks, and questions that sound like, “You don’t seriously watch The Bachelor right?”

Yes, yes I do. And proudly, as well. My dad called me up the other day asking the usual questions — what I’ve been up to and any new updates on my life. So, naturally, I spent twenty minutes explaining how Pilot Pete’s love journey was going. This of course was met with the regular response of sheer disappointment masked in confusion.