XYLYLS | The Privilege of Loss

I try to catalogue everything that happens, maybe to the brink of obsession. To that point, I have three pillars on which I rely to retell what is effectively my story: my Google calendar, a five-year Hobonichi, and my bullet journal. I’m obnoxiously type A with my calendar—I record any deviation from schedule, MCAT studying, impromptu kickbacks with friends, working out, journaling, etc. To supplement that, I start every morning by journaling in my Hobonichi. This particular 2019 – 2023 design reserves one spread for each calendar date, five divided rows for each year.


November has been a brutal month for me. I suffered immense heartbreak the night of the election with millions of people across the world, and then, a few weeks later, unexpectedly lost my 27-year-old cousin, whom I love very much. It’s been a month in which my worldview has been upended. Narratives of right and wrong, of a just world, have all been called into question. But these are larger issues that I will have to work through in due time – with hard work that will require a lot of reflection and introspection.