Entertainment

AKABAS | 6 Things the NBA Could Do with the Rookie of the Year Trophy

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This NBA season, not a single rookie who played more than half of his team’s games averaged at least nine points per game while shooting at least 46%. For context, those were the 2016-17 statistics of 35-year-old defensive-specialist Tony Allen. For further context, two years ago the Warriors came back from down 2-1 to defeat the Grizzlies in the Western Conference Semifinals by literally ignoring Tony Allen’s offensive presence.  

The Rookie of the Year trophy is typically given to the best rookie from a particular season (which seems obvious, but since the Academy almost never awards Best Picture to the best picture, you never know). This season, however, begs the question: is giving a trophy to a player less offensively adept than Tony Allen really the best use for it, or are there better options?

Entertainment

AKABAS | A Non-Exhaustive List of People Who I Would Vote For President Over Donald Trump

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To Republicans, Donald Trump is like receiving scented candles for a holiday gift: you don’t want it, but for social reasons, you have to pretend like you don’t hate it. To Democrats, Donald Trump is like receiving a pet monkey for a holiday gift: it seems harmless and even amusing at first, but it’s actually the most annoying thing ever. I am in the latter group, and I wouldn’t trust Donald Trump to place a dinner order over the phone, much less be leader of the free world for four years. But I’m wondering just how deep into the barrel I’d need to reach to find someone who I wouldn’t vote for over Donald Trump. For many opposing candidates, my decision wouldn’t even be close, such as Michael Bloomberg (perhaps the only moderate politician alive), Michelle Obama (who recently joined Ryan Gosling as the only perfect human being), Jon Stewart (who would obviously run with John Oliver and call themselves “John Squared”), Mark Cuban (an outspoken, successful, aggressive billionaire who isn’t also a racist, sexist lunatic) and Cornell Psychology Professor David Pizarro.