A Few Netflix Recommendations to Restore Lost Intelligence Before the Semester Begins

by Katriana Galloway

You’re rotting. Your brain is shriveling, and your body is shrimping. I hate to say it, but you can’t claim your all-virtual internship is keeping you on your game when you’ve dropped to the behavioral capacity of a house cat; you’re periodically inspired to nibble at your dwindling snack stash, but otherwise you slink and slither miserably around the house without a single objective, leaving your hair everywhere and arguably serving little to no purpose in general. No amount of the profound self-introspection you congratulate yourself for carrying out in these lonesome times, or of the James Baldwin quotes and politically charged articles you’ve added to your Instagram story, can reverse the truth of you having begun to regularly converse with your bedside lamp, roughly your intellectual equal these days. We’ve gone months now without that constant whirl of stimulation that was many of our worlds pre-COVID, and, no matter how many squats you do a day or how many new drugs you try, the conjoined forces of time and mandated self-quarantine are dimming us all. 

No doubt, you’ve been Netflixing heavily.

CORNELLA | What Your Favorite TV Shows Would Look Like Today

Stars: They’re just like us! There’s something comforting in knowing that I’m not the only one who has to stay home and at a six feet distance. Just knowing that everyone else is having to do the same exact thing makes the situation more bearable — and I mean everyone. Now if I ever run into Justin Bieber or Beyoncé we will actually have something in common that I can use as a conversation starter. That definitely makes weeks long of quarantine worth it.

Veritas Forum Announces 2020 #My2020CommencementSpeech Contest

by Zachary Lee 

With commencements and graduations nationwide either being cancelled or going virtual, the Veritas Forum is ensuring that before the year ends, members of the Class of 2020 still get to share their stories. The organization, which places historic Christian faith in dialogue with other beliefs and invites participants from all backgrounds to pursue Truth together, has partnered with The Augustine Collective and Comment Magazine to launch the #My2020CommencementSpeech Contest, which will publish five commencement speeches written by graduating seniors. All graduating seniors are invited to participate. In May, Comment will publish the winning speeches online, and Veritas will publish videos of the authors delivering those speeches on its social channels. Additionally, the five winners will each receive $200 Amazon gift cards.

GALLOWAY | Corona Season: Exposing Cornell’s Simpler-Minded

Hardly a couple weeks ago, while still a student in the traditional sense, I observed the bespeckling of our once-tangible institution by a scattered but substantial population of a particular type of student. For the sake of your efficient recollection, I’ll attempt to compile them all into a cast of two characters (they aren’t a terribly varied crowd). 

Paying absolutely no attention in an econ discussion section is student number one, daydreaming about enlisting in the active troops of America’s dumbest youth currently deployed on Miami beaches. With the full intention of turning these fantasies into realities, as well as the financial comfort necessary to do so, they envision themselves joining the battalions of idiots devoting their spring breaks to pillaging Florida suburbs filled with senior citizens and major airports filled with travelers from the world’s every corner. 

Student number two is a Human Biology, Health and Society junior possessing the simplicity of a freshman and a propensity for hypocrisy like no other. They’re an all too common Cornellian, perusing Expedia sites in their Nutrition and Global Health lecture, feigning excitement over a now cheaper Cancún trip with their friends they know damn well Daddy could and would have paid for at a pre-Corona price. This is a student whose life is utterly untouched by the novel virus, who believes themselves immune despite having undergone thousands of dollars worth of “global health” courses, who has been a rather dedicated attendee of recent Catherine Street darties (daytime parties), who self-identifies as a pre-med “because they have a passion for helping others” and who seemingly cares not about the lives they put at risk with every mask-free breath they breathe beyond the boundaries of their campus and their parents’ home. 

We are in the midst of a worldwide catastrophe threatening human existence itself, an advancing epidemic with enough vigor to have proven itself unstoppable by even the countless forms of privilege that have long shielded some of Westchester’s finest streets from most other earthly issues.


GALLOWAY | Golden Goose Shoes: We Get it, You’re Rich

Don’t have a Goodwill near you? Can’t afford to independently wear down some white sneakers via walking in them, as one does? Been longing for goose-themed shoes to pair with your unethically manufactured goose-feather jacket? May I present to you the Golden Goose Superstar sneakers. 

Stroking your classically Cornellian fetish for advertising your parents’ New English wealth, while also saving you the time and energy your freshman School of Hotel Administration schedule simply cannot accommodate to break into a new pair of white Vans, having your very own GG pair will grant your feet that special sensation of chafing against five-hundred-dollar leather that has been individually hand-scratched and artistically ravaged in a Venetian warehouse. An undoubtedly worthwhile investment, one pair of GGs is all you’ll ever need to satisfy your inexplicable desire for a chestnut brown blemish thoughtfully placed on your rightmost toe by a nice Italian man.

SPOTLIGHT | Not All Business: Alumna Sonya Chyu ‘18 Combines Commerce, Chimes and Creative Writing

In a world of increasing specialization, students of the University often feel pressured to narrow their paths of study. Business major, English minor and chimesmaster Sonya Chyu ‘18 was a joyful exception to this rule. When she transferred from the University of Texas at Austin, her acceptance to the University “was contingent upon studying Applied Economics and Management. I was always interested in the people-centric nature of business, especially marketing, and I wanted to merge qualitative and quantitative skills during my time at Cornell.”

This merger happened sooner than she anticipated. Chyu said that she “stumbled upon the [creative writing] minor in a meeting with my faculty advisor.

ROVINE | The Democratic Candidates As The Zodiac

Given there are exactly 12 candidates vying for the Democratic nomination at tonight’s debate, I figured I had to highlight them all as represented by the 12 Zodiac signs. (Admittedly, I know way more about astrology than I do about politics- don’t come after me!) 


Elizabeth Warren: Aries

Known to “swat and jab at the air” in interviews, Warren can seem a bit Aries Aggressive indeed. But maybe that’s because she uses her boundless energy to unapologetically fight for what she believes in. Go off, Lizzy! Love that passionate fire.

DESTROYING JOTENHEIM | The Three Essentials of Orientation Week


Pack your schedule to the max

One of the great things about Cornell is that they are well aware of the difficult transition between high school and summer to living at college, and they go through a lot of effort to make the change as easy as possible for incoming freshmen with Orientation Week. Events start as early as the day of move-in, and if you take full advantage of the university’s scheduled activities, you shouldn’t have a single minute of empty time to stew over the discomfort of being in an entirely new and unfamiliar place. That being said, a lot of Orientation Week is what you make of it. Only a fraction of the events that you will find in the welcome guide are actually mandatory, and many tend to overlap and leave the decision of attendance up to you. As a newly former freshman myself, the best advice I can give for this portion is to go out to as many events as you can.

SUNSPOTS | Ask Us Anything – Orientation 2019

We get it! You probably have a lot of questions. We all did too. We also know that good advice can be sparse, hard to find, and mixed in with a lot of crap. So here is a form for you to ask us your most pressing questions about Food, Student Life, Extracurriculars, Classes, Ithaca, and whatever you want.

Ask Anj | Freshman Friendships

Q: So it’s going to be the end of the semester soon, and I have a problem: I’m a freshman, and I feel like I don’t have strong, sustainable friendships. My roommates are nice, but I don’t see us hanging out much after this year, and I’ve got some platonic friends from my FWS, but once that’s over, I have no idea if we’ll still talk to each other. Everyone around me seems to have at least one best friend already, and some have a “family” who they eat dinner with regularly. Am I not putting myself out there enough? Should I wait for solid friendships to come my way, or is it something I should actively seek?