Life

CULTURALLY SHOOK | I AM AN IPHONE, AND I AM ALSO BREAKING UP WITH YOU

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Hello, world! I am the iPhone 7.* You might have heard about me. Apple—my divine maker, God of contemporary consumer electronics as ordained by the capitalist super-state—released me into the free market a few days ago. I am here to converse with you about—that’s right!—the dreaded “us.”

You and me. We need to talk.