I thought of some really simple, fun recipes that everyone should try this fall season!
To kick things off, I’ll start with two takes on a seasonal favorite: the pumpkin spice latté.
Prep time: 10 minutes
What you’ll need: Cash, credit, or debit.
Put on some clothes, and don’t forget—phone, wallet, keys! Walk down to your nearest Starbucks and order up a Pumpkin Spice Latté. Make sure you enunciate your name clearly, or they might spell it wrong.
Not Your Starbucks’ Pumpkin Spice
What you’ll need: A real recipe.
Find an interesting recipe! I suggest looking online or in a newspaper—articles that look like this usually have really tasty ones. Once you’ve found one you like, you’re good to go. Just follow the steps, and you should have a steaming latté within a just a few minutes.
With Halloween coming up, a spooky looking snack is essential to add to your fall cooking résumé. Here are some of my favorites.
What you’ll need: cake batter, frosting, and a little bit of crazy.
Put cupcake liners in typical muffin or cupcake baking tray. Bake the cakes and spread the frosting! Use a piper if you want to get really fancy. Most importantly, however, take a sharp knife and knick your index finger enough to get the blood dripping, but not flowing. Remember, this is for fun, not to send you to the hospital. Now drip that homemade umami bomb over your frosting, and the cupcakes are set!
What you’ll need: spider shaped gummies, real spiders, a jar, and some black paper.
This one takes some finesse, because you don’t want to hurt the spiders. Place your candy gummies into a glass jar lined with black paper, so nobody can see inside. Poke some holes into the cap for some air and then pour the live spiders in (carefully!). This should give any Halloween guest a real spook!
With Halloween here, Thanksgiving is just around the corner! Let’s take a look at some of the best takes on some Thanksgiving staples.
“I’m Too Stuffed!” Stuffing
What you’ll need: a few plates full of Thanksgiving delicacies and a full stomach.
Get your plate and fill it up. Eat and eat and eat—until you can’t eat anymore, until you feel a little sick. But we all know that those rolls or that turkey drumstick aren’t going to eat themselves! Stuff it all in your face and chew…but you’re too full! Spit it out. Now you have a lovely bolus, perfect for truly homemade stuffing.
“I Still Can’t Believe You Voted for Jill Stein” Pie
What you’ll need: a good memory, stubbornness, a year of Trump’s policies, pent up resentment, and a pumpkin pie.
Talk to that Aunt you haven’t spoken to in a while—that one who you know “just couldn’t vote for Hillary because she wasn’t the type of woman she wanted as the first female President.” Deal with her ridiculousness for a little, and then let slip your real feelings. As it turns into a screaming match, grab a piece of pumpkin pie and let it fly. 10 points if it hits her face!
Finally, I’ll go through a couple more favorites that I might have missed.
Butter, Nut, and Squash Soup
What you’ll need: the typical butternut squash soup ingredients, plus some nuts and butter.
Grind your nuts, and melt that butter. Then make the butternut squash soup. Mix to your liking, I guess.
What you’ll need: Potatoes, butter, cream, salt, pepper, anything else you want to put in there.
Boil the taters. Smash ‘em any way you know how—feet, hands, utensils—nothing is out of bounds here. Add cream and butter to taste; never forget to season. Seasonings make the world go round.
Thanks for reading guys! If you are interested in finding some real recipes, try these links: