SUNSPOTS | What Is The Best Way To Eat Peanut Butter?

In honor of National Peanut Butter Lover’s Day (yup, it’s a real thing), ten of our writers set out to answer an important question: What is the best way to eat peanut butter?

Hunter Moskowitz ‘18

For one to undertake the ultimate peanut butter creation process, one must commit oneself to three steps:

1.       Put a hunk of peanut butter on a knife
2.       Place said hunk of peanut butter on a Ritz cracker
3.       Stick another Ritz cracker on top of the peanut butter hunk

We underrate sandwiches of all kinds. They seem pretty simple, but to “sandwichize” something creates dramatic results. Ice cream cookie sandwiches, toast and assorted breakfast food sandwiches or even a fruit sandwich (two slices of watermelon with grapes, berries, and pineapple chunks in the middle) all change the game, bringing complexity and nuance to the simplest of meals. Never underestimate the power a sandwich can bring to your life.

Evan Reynolds ‘19

The best way to eat peanut butter is to eat it off the knife used to cut a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. This is the best way because the peanut butter is usually spread out in clumps across the knife, and you’re not allowed to use your fingers, so you really have to get creative with your tongue. Sure, your tongue’s getting a workout, but summer is right around the corner and you’re going to want to have your tongue body looking and feeling good once the sun’s out. The tongue is the most underrated muscle when people talk about summer bods since it’s not really visible, but trust me, it’s key to a great summer. *winks*

Janna Yu ‘18

Admittedly, I’m not a fan of peanut butter because I think it’s overrated. It is, however, an absolutely indispensable ingredient for my favorite type of Chinese hotpot dipping sauce. To prepare the sauce, mix sesame paste with creamy peanut butter at a ratio of 4:1, then add fermented bean curd, leek flower sauce, soy sauce, some sugar, oyster sauce and finally some water. I can go on and on. Every Chinese person has a favorite way of making the sauce, but most can agree that the peanut butter’s nutty and creamy flavor enhances the tastes of spicy broth and sliced meat.

Sophia Deng ‘19

Best way to eat peanut butter: Out of the jar until you’re consumed by simultaneous self-loathing and ecstasy. Vow to never eat it again. Repeat.

Alternatively, use it to remove stubborn, ugly vestiges of labels that were ripped off of your jars or bottles.

Jeremiah Kim ‘19

I have but six words: Peanut butter, scrambled eggs, and bread. I have but three words: Peanutbutter, scrambledeggs, andbread. I have but one word: Peanutbutterscrambledeggsandbread. I have but thirty-three words: p e a n u t b u t t e r s c r a m b l e d e g g s a n d b r e a d. Thank you for listening.

Evan Kravitz ‘19

I’m a purist and a peanut butter fanatic, so the best way to eat peanut butter is either with a spoon from the container, or with some bananas, with honey drizzled on top. This is my go-to high-protein snack in the dining halls (particularly good with Cornell peanut butter). You don’t want to mask the flavor too much.

Sasha Chanko ‘19

“Peanut butter jelly time! Peanut butter jelly time! […] peanut butter jelly with a baseball bat.” — A Dancing Banana

This is perhaps the most accurate statement of truth in this misleading world, for who does not appreciate the flavor of creamy peanut butter and fruity jelly mixed together? It is so satisfying that you can eat it with a baseball bat. What other foods like that do you know?

That’s what I thought: none.

Louisa Heywood ‘20

The most exciting and delicious peanut butter combo I’ve found recently is a tasty version of the classic PB&J. First, take a rice cake, smother it with crunchy peanut butter, then top it with a generous serving of jelly or jam. The rice cake enhances the best part of peanut butter: the crunchy and the salty. There’s nothing better in the middle of the afternoon or late at night, and I often have trouble stopping at just one.

Lev Akabas ‘19

The best way to eat peanut butter is straight out of the f***ing jar. Who ever came up with the idea that putting something so scrumptious and savory on a big rectangular piece of starch would make it any better? Come on, people! Did we learn nothing from Winnie the Pooh?

Rabbit: Would you like condensed milk or honey with your bread?
Pooh: Both, but forget the bread.

Facts.

Charlie Liao ‘18

What is the best way to eat peanut butter?
Off of someone else in a platonic way.